Halloween child turns 5 months today...

Ok, so I know this picture of AnaLea is old. But I SURE LOVE THIS PIC! It was taken as a Valentine surprise gift for daddy. Five months ago today AnaLea Eileen Caldwell was born at 2:50 pm., and after 7 hours of labor. She was 6 lb 8 oz and 21 inches long. She is named after two grandma's and two great grandmas...Wow! She was born a month early with tuns of hair. The hair...I blame on the steroid shots that made her strong enough to be born early. Every minute of bed rest misery was worth it. AnaLea and Chris are the most amazing people to come into my life. I am sure lucky to be wife and mother. Thank you Chris and AnaLea for letting me be apart of your lives!

Growing up....its hard for mommy's too...

So this has been an interesting week. We have had a power house of growth. AnaLea has graced me with her sweet tantrums and high pitch cries for exactly 7 days....and counting. Drum roll...... She is getting her first tooth. Before she was teething, she would squeal at a high pitch squeal all day long, just to hear her self squeal. Now its got a miserable tone to it...which also adds to the intensity.

AnaLea started solids, and she can not get enough! And I cant seem to put it in her mouth fast enough. She tries to make me go faster by grabbing my hand and pulling the spoon to her face. Which usually results in a disastrous mess. Never the less, she loves food. Just like mommy and daddy! Some where on this post is a picture of her in Gracie's high chair. She looks so small in it. She just a lil' big of a thing. Two weeks ago, she was 13 lbs and is 26 inches long. So yeah, I have a long, skinny, and squiggly lil worm!

At AnaLea's last doctors visit, I was encouraged to put her in her own room. Yes, my daughter still sleeps in my room. And yes, I still check her vitals every night...terrible habit. I just can't shake it. She is my every thing. I wasn't this much of a mess when Chris was here. Now that he is gone, I am obsessed. Maybe its my insecurities as a single parent. Or maybe its just because she is my outlet of love. She is my everything right now. Not only is she my baby girl, but she represents a part of Chris that I can look at and hold. She looks so much like him! I fear having a 2nd child. The intense bond that AnaLea and I share, most likely will never be repeated with the next child, because I hope that Chris will never have to leave us again! It's just AnaLea and I to battle the home front while Chris protects our future over seas. Then again...what do I know....I have never had a 2nd child. But I will always look back at this difficult time in my life and know that AnaLea was there for me!

Today, I left AnaLea with someone else for the 2nd time since Chris left. I only ran to Cafe Rio to get my sister and I some food. Total, I think I have only spent and hour and twenty minutes away from her since Chris left. Again, I think it stems from my silent obsession. I use to be able to leave her with someone all of the time. But now I just hold on to her as tight as I can, and cry when I have to let go.

Through all the disastrous moments I have had to suffer through. I can always look at my friend Camille and think...oooh....I've only got one kid. Another friend of mine calls her "wonder women's hero!" She certainly fits and has earned the title. Her husband is going to Afghanistan too. However, she just had a set of twins! She is certainly amazing. So when ever AnaLea is upset, or teething, or when I have a late night ,or an early morning surprise, or when disaster happens, I can certainly look at Camille and say "I can do this! I only have one baby!" Thank you Camille for giving me something to be grateful for. Her twins are the cutest ever! In her blog title it says, "We do this, so you don't have to." So fitting of her life right now.

This is a great picture of Camille and I. However, one day AnaLea will be very upset with me for posting it. At least in this picture she isn't inappropriately reaching for Camile. You should see Camille's copy on her blog (Davies Family).

A little about me....

Tag #1

What time did you get up this morning?
4 A.M.
What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
I don't even remember....something last summer before I went on bed rest.
What is your favorite TV show?
I don't have one right now. Chris and I are watching X-Files...from start to finish.
What do you usually have for breakfast?
Lately I have been having a hard time getting to breakfast...usually, eggs with lots of salsa.
What food do you dislike?
For sure Seafood!!!
What is your favorite CD at the moment?
Anything that is Jimmy Eat World or SheDaisy
What kind of car do you drive?
Toyota Camry
Favorite Sandwich?
Veggie from Subway
If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go?
Fiji
Favorite Brand of clothing?
American Eagle
Any new and exciting news you'd like to share?
AnaLea is getting her first tooth
What did you want to be when you were little?
Someone who worked at Dairy Queen...it was all about the ice cream with Nerds in it!
How are you today?
This was one of those tragic days that everything went wrong. However, Chris just called and every thing is just perfect
What is your favorite candy?
Anything with chocolate and Carmel
What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to?
The end of April!!! I get to go see Chris
What are you listening to right now?
The soft hum of the baby monitor
What is the last thing you ate?
Some Grasshopper Girl Scout cookies
Do you wish on stars?
ALL OF THE TIME
If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
It's a toss up...green or purple
How is the weather right now?
Really chilly...anything under 50 is tooooo cold
Last Person you spoke to on the phone?
Christopher
Favorite Soft Drink?
Diet Dr. Pepper, ahh...the nectar from the Gods!
Favorite Restaurant?
That is very easy! Cafe Rio
Hair color?
Brown with some awesome highlights...thanks Audra!
What was your favorite toy as a child?
Barbies, dolls, girly things.
Hugs or kisses?
Hugs from anyone, and kisses from Chris and AnaLea
Chocolate or vanilla?
Vanilla
When was the last time you cried?
This morning. The kitchen sink was clogged and over flowing from the dishwasher, the dog was freakin out because the baby was crying (she is teething), the carpet cleaner was over producing soap suds in my living room, did I mention the baby was crying...all this at the exact same time, did I mention I have been up since 4 am...and all I wanted to do is just talk to Chris!
What is under your bed?
Space Bags full of Christopher's clothes...so ironic! Chris, don't laugh!!!
What did you do last night?
Tried to make my daughter comfortable, we were up till midnight...did I mention yet, I was up at 4 a.m.
What are you a afraid of?
Finishing my life with out Chris
Salty or sweet?
Salty
Favorite day of the week?
They all blend into one day...what day is it, anyways
How many towns have you lived in? 11....Laguna NM, Grance NM, Carlsbad NM, Brigham City UT, West Bountiful UT, Bountiful UT, Sandy UT, Cotton Wood Heights UT, Holiday UT, Fort Ord (Sea Side)CA, and now Milcreek UT. -Did I miss any Mom and Dad?
Do you make friends easily?
I hope so...with all of that movin around!





I Tag...(if you read this) Chris, Becca, Jamie, Marie, Camille, Rachel, Shonda, Courtney, Marcie, Jennie, and MICHELLE...if I ever get around to helping you put your blog up!!!

At 4 months, AnaLea Loves to watch TV...

Brenten and AnaLea watching TV

AnaLea, Brenten, and Gracie!

Gracie making herself comfortable!!

MY HAIR...

Audra is very good with hair....TALENTED! I trust her with my hair. SO, with her, I am not too picky. She seems to know exactly what I need.

Before I left to Idaho, I asked Audra if she could trim up my hair....I hadn't cut it since before I went on bed rest with AnaLea, back in August. When I got to Audra's house, she started to get very excited about some ideas that she had. She even suggested that I add some blond to my hair. If any one else would have said that I would of freaked out. I have NEVER dyed my hair with permanent dye before. But, when Audra suggest something...well...lets just say I trust her opinion. So she cut my hair away...and away...and away...good bye hair! Yup! Its supper short...semi blond...and very SEXY! I am very excited about my new hair! When she comes out to Utah in April, I am going to have her "a" line the back and....drum role....Yup! Add some more blond to the bangs. I am an addict! I now have joined the bold and beautiful highlighted hair club!!!

Easter with Audra and her family...

So Audra the kind sole that she is, invited me to spend Easter with her, Brenten, and Gracie in Rexburg, Idaho. I was desperate and needed a friend that knew exactly what I was going through. Its been tough, living without Chris in my life. I have many friends and family who have been extremely supportive, but I needed an extra dose of Audra Sun Shine! Audra is a veteran when it comes to moving forward with no hand to hold. Her husband will come home from Afghanistan this May. Congrats!!! Audra, I am so excited for you! My only regret is that I wasn't as good as a friend to you when Adam left, as have been to me.

We spent Saturday, at the local high school, trick-or-egg hunting.....the field was covered with snow. So they had the kids lined up in two rows to collect candy from the students. Then we went to the local grocery store so AnaLea could get her picture taken with the Easter Bunny. That is about all you can do with a 4 month old for Easter! However, Gracie did share one of her suckers with AnaLea. AnaLea didn't mind. She seems to take quite well to sugar! On Easter Sunday we went to Audra's sisters house. There must have been 30 people there, and not everyone was family. Audra's family is really good at taking in people and adopting them into their Easter Holiday. Thank you to Audra and her AMAZING family for letting me and my daughter join them for Easter Dinner!!! I had a lot of fun and spent most of the evening laughing. They are hilarious!

I was supposed to go home Sunday evening, but then Audra convinced me to stay the night. Then I was supposed to come home on Monday. Audra then convinced me to stay until Tuesday. She almost had me convinced to stay until Wednesday, but my poor neighbors had my dog and I didn't want to abuse there kindness and AnaLea started teething. I didn't think Rexburg Idaho could be so much fun. Thank you AUDRA!!!

Read This Book SOOOOOOON

I have been reading this book and it is probably the best book I have ever read. Not only is it funny but he gives alot of great insight into the main concerns we have today like terrorism, oil and global warming(yeah ok). I recommend you read this because it is a define eye opener and we all need to really prepare ourselves for the truth. He even gives tips on staying married and fathers raising daughters. So you know that I really needed that. Just read it!!!!!!!

Super Hero

My husband is the biggest Super Hero fan that I know of. It brings out the 10 year old in him! I think its so cute! So I took this survey for him. Chris....if I where to be a Super Hero, this is what I would be!


Your results:
You are Green Lantern

Green Lantern 85% Wonder Woman 80% Superman 75% Spider-Man 70% Batman 70% Supergirl 70% Robin 70% Catwoman 70% Iron Man 70% Hulk 60% The Flash 60%

Hot-headed. You have strong will power and a good imagination.

Tag, I am it....

10 years ago I was:
In a whole other realm then I am now. I was 18 years old looking toward graduation from Bountiful High School. The days were long and wasteful. I hated school...it was boring because there really was no challenge to it. My classes consisted of ceramics 1,2, and 3, photography 1,2, and 3, aerobics, creative writing, underwater basket weaving....and the one that mattered, 12 th grade Honors English. I made the mistake of taking all my required classes the first two years of high school. I should have done early collage...but I didn't know about it! I lived for the moment and for my friends....hey, I was only 18....its very different now!

5 things on my to do list for today:
*Make myself presentable...and eat if there is time before AnaLea wakes up!
*Run to the bank to figure out where they sent my debt card to!
*Meet my Aunt Pat and my Webster girl cousins for lunch!
*Hang out with Jamie Lucas, a very special friend of mine from Weber State!

If I were a billionaire I would:
*Invest, so I could live off the interest!
*Invest, so AnaLea could live off the interest!
*Make Chris retire so that we can go see the world...this time together!
*Help out family members. I will even grant them a wish list!
*Build a descent and modest size home, in southern Utah. The garage will be bigger then the house so I can park my boat, 4 wheelers, snowmobiles, camper, Tahoe, Extera, Jeep, Harley, and the biggest truck I can get.

3 bad habits:
* Biting my nails!
* Checking AnaLea's vitals...yes, she is 4 1/2 months old and I still get up just to check!
* Turning to stare at any Harley or big truck that passes me by. Yes...I covet...just a little.

5 places I've lived:
*Laguna, New Mexico
*Carlsbad, New Mexico
*Bountiful, Utah
*Holiday, Utah
*Monterey (Fort Ord) California

Jobs I've had:
Not in any order-Dick's Bakery, Bob's Deli, American Dog Breeders (no, I didn't breed the dogs...it was an office job. I registered show dogs!), Bio-kids, Child Development Center, Davis County Youth Crises Center, FRG President (I wasn't paid...but I should have been! That was more consuming then a job!), and now mom!

You're tagged:
*Chris
*Michelle
*Becca
*Meisha
*marie

Answer the questions and post them on your blog. Leave me a comment when you're done-then you tag 4 new people! Ahhhh, good fun!

Great neighbors....

So I have the coolest neighbors in the world! They are always making me lil treats, giving me gifts, doing more then their fare share of the yard work, helping me with AnaLea, and helping me with Sadie. I don't know what I would do with out them. Before Chris left I was getting really nervous because I didn't know how I would be able to do everything on my own. Chris has always gone far and beyond the call of duty when it comes to helping me out. I discovered that, not purposefully, I was taking advantage of him by taking him for granted. When he comes home he will get an ear full of appreciations and thank you's! So, back to my way cool neighbors. She made me some Irish Cream Puffs in the shape of a shamrock. Her and her sweet kids gave me a lil' Irish cap for AnaLea to wear on St. Patty's day. I couldn't help but put it on the dog too. Sadie was just as bit adorable in it as AnaLea was...well, in her own way! I was talking to Chris just a minute ago. We were discussing how AnaLea's hair looks very red in pictures. Its just an optical illusion. She might have red highlights, she would get that from the Meyer side. But for the most part, its a dark chocolate brown. She gets that from the Webster side.

Holy Crap if this video makes it to the internet I will be very surprised I spent almost 3 hours trying to upload these videos of someof our training here at Ft. Lewis. It is a 34mb video and I made it to 31mb then it restarted itself. Yeah you know I was pretty mad. It makes me so mad how slow this thing works. Oh well the internet really sucks. Well I have made it to Cabela's here in Washington so you all know how happy that makes me. It is a littledifferent than the one in Lehi but this one has an indoor archery range. So next time I go there I might try to use it. Well there is something wrong with my computer or the internet so I will send the video to emily to up load for me.

Well everything is going well and the weather still sucks.

Like mother like son...

Somewhere on this blog page is a similar picture of Christopher, in which so many of you loved. Can you tell me who he gets his beautiful eyes from!?! And also, here is a picture of his younger brother, Mitch...ahhh... the family resemblance!

The luck of the IRISH...

Happy Saint Patrick's Day! We may be true blue Scottish folk....hence the title Caldwell Clan....but today we are IRISH! I hope to get some of that good luck rubbed on to me today. So far so good. I went to Oldnavy to get AnaLea a jacket for our trip to Idaho this weekend. I have been adoring a particular jacket for a month now. I have been holding off because the weather is getting better and the jacket was almost forty dollars. But today when I went into get it, it was only fifteen dollars! I have always loved St. Patty's day....maybe its all the green. I really love that color!

AnaLea had her 4 1/2 month doctors appointment. We found out that she weighs 13 lbs (doubled her birth weight) and is 26 inches long. She is very long and skinny. I am now putting her in nine month clothing. They are very baggy on her, but at least the pants go to her ankles instead of her knees (j/K). She also received three shots, in which she didn't take to well. She gets that from me. We are still battling the side affects! I have an adorable pic of AnaLea in an Irish cap. But my cousin is going to try to retrieve the pictures that I accidentally deleted off my camera last week. So maybe tomorrow I will post that cute pic! So for now, here is a picture that is a little old. It was taken back in February! But who can refuse a precious father/daughter picture!

I found this poem....It sum's it all up...

Loving a Soldier isn't
always what they say.
And loving him
is a high price to pay.
Its mostly loving with
nothing to hold.
Its being young
yet feeling so old.
Remember he's thinking
of you everyday.
He's sad and lonely
from being away.
So love him, miss him,
And know he's saying,
"I just want to hold her..."
And always be proud
to love your Soldier!

And she rolls...

I was just up loading pics from my camera and accidentally deleted them all! I had so many cute ones too! Dang it!!!!

The other day I put AnaLea down for a nap, I always lay her on her back. However, she has this whole process she has to do in order to fall asleep. First, she has to have her "passy." Then she has to have the blanket up by her face in which she covers her own face and rubs it with the blanket. And lately she has added to this routine, throwing her legs in the air and tossing them side to side....she is a restless sleeper...like her mom!

I was in the other room on the phone with Chris, when I heard her cry. It wasn't the typical sad cry that AnaLea is famous for. It was a mad-scared cry! I ran back to her room and found her on her stomach. The look on her face was the "I'm mad, what just happened" look. UNFORGETTABLE!!! Because she hates being on her stomach, I always new that she would roll over on accident. I am guessing that she had over thrown her legs when she was moving them from side to side.

After this happened, I laughed and told Chris, "Now you can say that you where there when she rolled over for the first time!"

Hello from Ft. Lewis

Well here I am just another rainy day here in good ole Washington. I had a little free time so I decided to post a blog and somephotos and some videos. Things are going great except for the fact I am so sick of MREs already. The days seem to fly by here because there is always something going on all the time here. Funny thing is though we could have received this same training back home in Utah, but that is the Army for you. I can't really talk about what training we are getting right now and really much about dates we are coming and going, but so is the nature of the beast. Iam doing great and have even lost 10 pounds since being here. I miss my wife and daughter a whole bunch but at least I get to talk to them whenever I have a free moment so it is not near as hard as when I went to Africa and was only able to talk to Emily once in like 3 months. Well enough said here are some photos and by the way I'm doing just fine. Here are some pictures of me in all the stuff we have to carry around with us, the picture with all of us in a cattle car basically we carted around like we are cattle and a picture of the place where we live these world war 2 barracks which you can tell have not been up kept and then a video of me firing the M240B machine gun which I qualified expert in and hit all of my targets up to 800 meters away which was really hard to see but still managed to do it.

Later

RATS RATS RATS....

Let me just start out by saying I grew up very sheltered as a girl. I always had Chris, my dad, and brothers take care of disgusting things for me. Today I took my first step toward complete dependence on me, and only me.

I woke up this morning realizing that Sadie hadn't pooped in a while. Since we have had beautiful weather, I had been letting her hang out on her own in the back yard. This morning I went to the back yard with some bags to see if she left any presents for me. Sure enough, I found her own little compost pile she had created. I cleaned it up and finished my search of the back yard. Then I came upon my horror. Neatly, if you can say that, tucked in the corner were 3 dead rats! They had been torn apart and stacked on top of each other. You got to give Sadie credit for tucking them away when she was done with them. She is a very clean dog and likes to clean up after herself. My first thought, after I began to breath again, was, "oooooooooo, Sadie, and I let you kiss me!"

I originally was going to leave them for Chris to take care of. Yes, for a whole year! Then I remembered the diseases, the filth, the dog, my baby, the neighborhood kids, and poor Mr. Libby who mows the lawn. I went inside and grabbed my dust pan and the thickest gloves we had. My original plan was to dump them in the dumpster. But then when I picked up the first one, I thought, "No way! I am not going to carry these all the way around the house, one by one, and put them in my dumpster." My dumpster doesn't even deserve that kind of abuse. So I threw them one, by one, over the fence into a huge empty field for the wild cats to finish them off. It most likely was the very field they came from. Each time I through one of my lil friends over the fence, I screamed, and jumped back. I do not have a good arm and I can be clumsy. So I dodged out of the way just in case I over threw them. I didn't want to throw them straight up in the air and come right down on top of me! It must have been such a sight and I apologize to the neighbors. When I was done I put the gloves and dustpan in the dumpster, went inside, and took a shower.

Sorry I didn't see it necessary to put up a picture of this. So I'll post a picture of Chris!

Expert markmanship...

Chris doesn't like to brag about himself. He doesn't even wear all of his medals on his Class A's. He only wears enough to get by. Well, since he is the most amazing person I know, I will brag for him. He just received another expert marksmanship medal. This time it is for the machine gun. Last time it was for the M16. CONGRATS CHRIS!!!!

Washington Pretty Much Sucks

Well here I am up in Washington the place is beautiful but the weather sucks bad. Seams like every day it either rains or is just cold and cloudy here every stinking day. We have shot alot of guns recently but don't worry I don't think that I will ever have to use them. (Wink Wink nudge nudge) Well I sure miss all of you guys and think about you all of the time.
I love you guys

Tribute to AnaLea

I laid in my bed this morning admiring the perfect bliss that my baby girl was in. She is the most perfect thing in my chaotic life right now. She is the most beautiful, strong, and determined silly lil goose you will ever meet. Its truly amazing that she survived the nine months that she was inside of me.

I have a deformed uterus leaving AnaLea half the amount of room that any other baby would have had, a toddler jumped off a plat form and landed feet first on my tummy, walked 6 miles a day, packed for a move, dealt with the emotional stress of receiving the information of Chris deployment, a very high stress job, moved to Utah from Cali, unpacked (mostly by my self), completed the yard work (by my self), walked 4 miles a day, was electrocuted, put on bed rest, fell down a flight of stairs (while on bed rest)! What a trooper she was and still is!

I was writing in her journal last night. I was recording some of her four month mile stones. I am sure they are typical development skills for her age. But being her mom, and a first time mom, I would classify this as "BREAKING NEWS!"

AnaLea at four months:

-After months of Battle, she Finlay accepts the fact that tummy time is a fact of life! And she actually enjoys it now!

-She loves to stand on her feet and jump up and down.

-She trys to sit up in her car seat.

-She talks so much and squeals at a high pitch ALL DAY LONG.

-When she squeals it sounds like she is saying "yes!"

-She sits on the floor, using my fingers only for balance.

-She has her first crush, Mathew Mconaughey.

-Loves to watch football! Sorry hun, she just is not interested in baseball. She couldn't be yours!

-She loves to look at herself in the mirror.

-Loves peek-a-b00.

-She loves her exo saucer.

-She likes to flirt with soldiers on her daddies team.

-She likes to be read to.

-She hates church! We sit in the back row. She sees the backs of peoples heads but they wont turn around and give her attention, so she through fits!

-Did I say she loves attention!!! FLIRT!

-She likes to play with paper!

-Still recognizes daddy's voice after 2 1/2 weeks of being deployed.

-Loves to talk to daddy on the phone....She likes to eat the phone too!-Sleeps from 9 pm until 9 am, waking once to eat at 4 am

-Loves the Binky....but she tries to get sneaky and puts a finger or two in her mouth.

-Puts Binky in her mouth, almost by her self.

-She laughs out loud.

-She grasp at her toys and plays with them.

-She is starting to make vowel sounds.

-The finally: I put her on the floor, on her back, next to my bed. I left the room for a minute. I could hear her squealing and laughing. Then all of the sudden it got very quiet. I went back into my bedroom to see what she was doing. My heart dropped to the bottom of my stomach! She was gone and no where to be seen. No one was in the house and could of taken her, besides I was in the next room and anyone would have had to walk past me. Then I heard a little squeal and saw two feet poking out from under my bed. She had scooted, on her back, to her new hiding place, under my bed!

Chris, I will never let go!

The hardest thing I've ever done...

Well, I figure if my friend Marie will break down from peer pressure and make a blog, I might as well too. For me, its not an easy thing to start. I sat here for a half hour dinkin' around trying to figure out where to start and what to write. I guess I will start with the here and now. I am over whelmed with many different feelings right now.

As you all know, Chris is at Fort Lewis, preparing to go to Afghanistan. He can't tell me what he will be doing over seas, but I know he will be thinking of his family while he is doing it. I know that he misses everyone so much! I will try to keep you posted as best that I can. You might even get some "kewl" pictures from Afghanistan. Maybe if we are lucky, he can post a blog or two. Chris if your reading this...

Many different people have asked how I am doing. I don't know what they want me to say. This is hard! Its the hardest thing that I have ever done. I find my self very lonely, soaked with spit-up, red eyed, trapped, and aching for the adult conversation that I miss so much with Chris. But through it all, I still answer, "I'm fine." One of these days I will come up with a better response then that!

I am still working on putting his stuff away. He moves through a room like a tornado! His shoes are still at the front door waiting for him to kick of his army boots and take long walks with AnaLea and I. His glass still sits on the water cooler. His clothes in the closet, his Yankee's hat in the car window, his shampoo in the shower, and his smell on the pillow beside me. I shouldn't be measuring others pain, but I do feel lucky compared to other military spouses! I have a soldier who loves me and I know without a doubt he will keep on loving me! And we will grow from this. We will become stronger and even more in love! I can say at least I have my baby girl, we are healthy, we are not alone and pregnant, we are not financially handicap, and we can hear from Chris, for now. I feel especially fortunate for all of you who love and watch out for me!

I do want to thank all those who are looking out for my daughter and I. We have a lot of family, friends, and neighbors who have stepped in to help. Just the other day, I had a neighbor brighten my wedding anniversary (March 6) with flowers and balloons. (AnaLea sure loved the way those flowers tasted, Dannie!) All of the kind words and deeds do not go unnoticed. I feel like I am slipping into a debt I'll never be able to repay. Everyone has been so kind! Thank you all!